i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
