i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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