we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
