you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
