the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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