Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
