im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
