he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
