Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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