Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
