I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize