Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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