i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize