And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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