He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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