is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you didnt know i had herpes?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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