if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
