Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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