google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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