why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
