from now on my penis is your penis
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
