Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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