is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
