my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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