I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
