i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
