Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
