I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
