the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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