What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
