There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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