brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
