just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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