he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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