My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
