i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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