I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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