I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
