the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He better not be in your backpack
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
