I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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