you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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