dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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