Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
