I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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