Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
