it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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