38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
