Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we have officially lost it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
