And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
