Sry I called you an 8
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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