She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
