I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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