if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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