Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize