You work out of a Hotel?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
