She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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