yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
