I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
