Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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