I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
