Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
