new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
