Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Couch. On fire.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
