nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize