You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
