My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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