Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
