So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize