i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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