oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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