My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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