I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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