she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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