Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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