Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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