I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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