I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
