sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
