she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
