I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
