don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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