I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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