hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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